The 12 Steps for Couples
This is a journey of discovering our relationship with God and the yielding of our life to the work of the Holy Spirit, Gods Word, and the twelve steps. The twelve steps are about individual life change leading to improved deeper more intimate relationships. In the first three steps, we admit that our relationships are unmanageable and that we are not perfect, resulting in relationships that are not high quality and God honoring. We also acknowledge that Jesus is Lord over our lives. In steps four through nine we explore our areas of imperfection, work on resolving conflict, and achieving greater intimacy in our relationships. In the final steps, we seek to share our personal growth with others.
1. We admitted we were powerless over our relationship and that our life together had become unmanageable I know nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. (Romans 7:18)
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to commitment and intimacy. For it is God, brothers who is at work in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. (Philippians 2:13)
3. Made a decision to turn our wills and our life together over to the care of God. Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God- this is your spiritual act of worship. (Romans 12:1)
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our relationship together as a couple. Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the LORD. (Lamentations 3:40)
5. Admitted to God, to each other and to another couple, the exact nature of our wrongs. Therefore confess your sins to each other, and pray for each other, so that you may be healed. ( James 4:10)
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character, communication and caring. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. (James 4:10)
7. Humbly ask him to remove all our shortcomings. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1John 1:9)
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and become willing to make amends to them all. Do to others as you would have them do to you. (Luke 6:31)
9.Made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the alter and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there in front of the alter. First go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift. (Matthew 5:23-24)
10. Continue to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admit it to our partner and others we had harmed. So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful you don't fall! (1 Corinthians 10:12)
11.Sought through our common prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly (Colossians 3:16a)
12.Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other couples, and practice these principles in all aspects of our lives, our relationship, and our families affairs. Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. (Galatians 6:1)
