Denial?
Are you in Denial?
Denial has been defined as “a false system of beliefs that are not based in reality” and “a self-protecting behavior that keeps us from honestly facing the truth.”
Definition of DENIAL acrostic:
Don’t
Even
kNow
I
Am
Lying
As kids, we all learned various coping skills. They came in handy when we didn’t get the attention we wanted from our parents and others or, to block our pain and our fears.
For a time these coping systems worked. But as the years progressed they confused and clouded our view of the truth of our lives. As we grew, our perception of ourselves and our expectations of all those around us also grew. But because we retained our childish methods of coping, our perceptions of reality became increasingly more unrealistic and distorted.
Our coping skills grew into denial, and most of our relationships ended up broken or less fulfilling than they could have been. Did you ever deny that your parents had problems? Did you ever deny that you had problems? The truth is, we can all answer yes to these questions to some extent. But, for some of us, that denial turned to shame and guilt.
Denial is the “Pink Elephant” sitting in the middle of the living room. Everyone in the family sees it, but no one talks about it or acknowledges it in any way. Do any of the following comments sound familiar to you?
Billy, if you don’t talk about it, it will go away.
Honey, let’s pretend that it didn’t really happen.
If I tell her that it hurts me when she says that, I’m afraid she will leave me.
He really doesn’t drink that much.
It really doesn’t hurt when he does that; I’m fine!
I eat because you make me so mad!
If you didn’t nag me all the time, I wouldn’t
Look honey, I have a tough job; I work hard. I need a few drinks to relax. It doesn’t mean that I have a problem.
Folks, that’s DENIAL
As I said earlier, before we can take the first step of our recovery, we must first face and admit our denial. God says in Jeremiah 6:14 (TLB), “You can’t heal a wound by saying it’s not there!”
Effects of Denial acrostic:
Disables our feelings
Energy lost
Negates growth
Isolates us from God
Alienates us from our relationships
Lengthens the pain
